


#stetopherandthecockblockingcat

by Mysenia



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, Multi, Smithers the cat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 11:23:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4058182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysenia/pseuds/Mysenia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter brings home a cockblocking cat which he names Smithers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	#stetopherandthecockblockingcat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [0justlisten0](https://archiveofourown.org/users/0justlisten0/gifts).



> This is pure crack and is only here because of [ satans-vee](http://satans-vee.tumblr.com/), so you can go thank her for this! ^^
> 
> I arbitrarily made Smithers a girl. Hope that's alright!

Peter was quite hard pressed to believe Stiles when Stiles told him that Smithers was the reason Peter had not been sexed up in days. Utter ridiculous he had told Stiles outright. Of course Peter was Smither’s favourite, Peter was everyone’s favourite - or so he told himself - and the cat was just affectionate.

“Yes Peter, Smithers is affectionate with you. And whenever Chris or I try to go near you or your _darling_ , she jumps right up onto your lap and hisses at us.” Stiles gesticulated wildly to validate his point. Peter was not amused.

“Smithers is not hissing at you.” Peter stated as he stroked Smithers where the cat was perched on his lap. Stiles huffed but Peter’s attention was diverted by his little darling purring away contentedly on his lap. Peter vaguely registered Stiles walking away but Smithers had started rubbing her head against Peter’s knee and Peter couldn’t help but coo at the cuteness.

Obtaining Smithers had been the cause of happy circumstance - the circumstance being Peter tripping over Smithers while he was walking from the coffee shop to his car. It was bucketing down and Peter had his attention on his car, not watching where he put his feet - ignoring all the noises around him - and thus he was quite startled when he felt his foot land on something soft and squishy, only his werewolf reflexes saving the cat from what otherwise would have been a serious injury. 

Peter had scoffed at it, wrinkling his nose at the wet feline smell - werewolf repellant if ever he had heard of one - and he made an exaggerated motion of stepping over the cat. Apparently that had not been the right move as the cat had retaliated by sinking its claws into Peter’s leg. Needless to say the resulting mortifying leg-jiggle-dance Peter employed to remove said cat and claws failed epically, the cat using its teeth to hold on - demon mode activated.

Peter had been weary of putting his hands anywhere near those miniature stakes and had thus negotiated with the cat, “Look if you let go I’ll bring you home with me.” And that’s how Chris and Stiles came home one day to Peter relaxed on the couch with this little purrito in his lap. 

They had cooed and instantly fallen in love with the little girl, “Her name is Smithers.”

However, that was the beginning and end of their adoration for the feline. Smithers turned out to be a feline version of Peter, sassy and moody. Plus she had an air of superiority to her whenever Chris and Stiles were around, flaunting her ability to steal Peter’s attention in _every situation_.

It rankled Chris and Stiles because no matter the evidence, Peter never believed them. 

“Come on you two, you’re jealous of a cat?” Peter would quirk a brow at them, derision in every line of his body.

Chris would huff slightly, roll his eyes, and shrug it off like he hadn’t just been acting jealous of a cat. Stiles, on the other hand, would flush red and stumble over his words - trying to deny it - and then just storm off, needing some time to vent where he didn’t feel humiliated for being _jealous of a cat_.

Peter would eventually go searching for his embarrassed wee mate, not realising of course that he’s only seeking out his love after he’s let Smithers outside. Chris notices but chooses not to comment, instead following after Peter to see where Stiles has gotten himself. They find him burritoed in blankets, oddly reminiscent of the first time Peter brought Smithers home - Chris is on to Stiles’ tactic but if it gets Peter’s attention he is not saying anything - and they gather around him, snuggling him and comforting him. 

It takes awhile to coax Stiles out of his cocoon, his embarrassment now due in part to being caught acting like a child. As soon as the blankets are pulled back Peter literally pounces on Stiles and nuzzles into his neck, soaking up Stiles’ smell. Peter will pull Chris in, basking in the combined scent of his mates. Just as Chris and Stiles think they’re about to get some, Peter’s head will perk up, and quicker than a blink, Peter will be up and out of the room - gone presumedly to let the cat back in.

And thus the cycle will start all over again. It gets to the point where Peter is so caught up in Smithers - the conniving little witch knows what she’s doing - that it’s been about 4, going on 5, days that they haven’t had sex. It’s completely unfathomable in their household, and _yet it’s happened_.

Peter’s become the crazy cat man more concerned and obsessed with his cat than he is with sex. Stiles is firmly convinced that the apocalypse is coming. 

Not to say that Chris and Stiles haven’t had sex, which no. Just because Peter was too busy for sex does not mean Stiles and Chris were going to abstain. They loved each other’s bodies and they worshipped each other accordingly. Though they missed Peter they knew that eventually, _hoped_ , that Peter would come to realise what had happened and remedy the situation himself. How wrong they were.

When Peter finally does confront them he is absolutely stunned that they have the gall to blame his lack of sex on the cat.

“Are you two seriously telling me that you’re afraid of a little pussy?” Peter asks as he picks up Smithers. Stiles glares at her as she purrs and nuzzles into Peter.

“No, we’re not afraid of a little pussy.” Chris states. If they’re being honest, the way Chris says pussy makes both Peter and Stiles hot. “She just likes to conveniently step in whenever we try to fuck you.” Chris takes several steps towards Peter, completely the predator.

Peter’s all for this dominating and feels himself respond, heartbeat quickening, chubbing up - it’s been awhile and he’s never not responded to his mates, okay? Chris is only a few steps away and Peter is preparing himself to put Smithers down when she lets out a distressed meow. Peter’s attention is instantly diverted, worried that something is wrong with his darling. 

“See Peter? The moment your pussy thought we were going to take your attention, she acted up. Look at her now, she is completely fucking fine.” Stiles did his best not to seeth. 

Indeed, looking down at Smithers, Peter saw that she was now purring and nuzzling into his arms - acting for all the world like nothing was wrong. Peter was impressed. Never before had someone been able to deceive him quite so well - he found he did not have it in him to be mad about such deviousness, especially from one so divine as Smithers.

“Now now Smithers, are they correct?” Peter turned Smithers’ face towards him. She batted her eyes. “You little minx! What a clever girl you are.” Peter couldn’t help but coo. A pair of coughs brought his attention back to his mates and their quite unimpressed looks.

“Right.” Peter cleared his throat. “Now darling, I think you’ve had quite enough of Daddy’s attention. And that’s alright, but not if you’re depriving him of sex. Which you have been. Lots of it. Daddy likes sex, a lot, and he was having sex multiple times a day before he brought you into his life. And Daddy doesn’t regret that, but you need to give Daddy his sex life back.” 

Chris and Stiles looked on as Peter lectured and scolded the cat. They could not believe he seriously thought the cat understood him. He was looking at her with adoration in his eyes and they were seriously fighting the urge to facepalm. Negotiating with a cat for sex, this is what their life had become.

“Now Daddy’s going to give you some of your favourite wild Alaskan salmon and you’re going to give us an hour of alone time. Is that clear?” Peter continued holding eye contact with Smithers. Chris and Stiles not so quietly snorted.

There was no outward confirmation from the cat, _obviously_ , but as Peter put her down she did indeed go towards her food dish. Peter calling her a good girl as he walked to the cupboard and pulled down her stupidly expensive food. 

Chris and Stiles watched on as Peter puttered around the kitchen, fixing her food just the way she liked it. Smithers sat patiently beside her bowl the entire time. 

“Peter, you cannot seriously think that she understands you right now.” Chris could not help but agree with Stiles’ statement. Peter’s only response was to smirk.

As soon as he set Smithers’ food down Peter walked over and grabbed a hold of Chris and Stiles and dragged them off to their bedroom. He was not wasting time.  
You best believe that an hour later Smithers was heard scratching at the door. For once Peter decided to ignore her.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Sunshine... the Cockblocker?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7444855) by [sassysaphael](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassysaphael/pseuds/sassysaphael)




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